It was August 4, 2019, when I started to meditate daily.
I remember this because the day before, August 3, was my wife’s birthday. I’d been suffering hard with mental illness for a couple of years. In my late teens, it’d been bad. This time, in my early 40s, it wasn’t quite as awful, but getting close. My wife had never seen me like this, not in all the 20-plus years we’d been together.
We went out for her birthday: beach, dinner, museum. I did my best to have a good attitude, but it was clear that I was suffering. When the day ended, she asked me what I would do. I said I would go to reiki, as that had helped me before. She asked me, “But what then?”
In other words, Would I only lean on reiki? Could I not find some deeper healing on my own, within? Better self-care, better diet, better daily practices?
I resented her question. I told her she didn’t understand mental illness. You can’t just pull yourself up by your bootstraps. In fact, especially for a man, it’s difficult to even admit you have a problem and seek help. She said she understood, but she also wondered, even if I sought healing, what lay ahead for me.
So the next day, resentfully, I got up and started meditating.
She’d only been suggesting it for a decade. I figured I could try it for 10 minutes a day.
Within a week, I felt much better.
Cleaner inside. Calmer inside. More empowered. More centered. Focused. It was crazy! Meditation’s simple. Essentially, you clear your mind. Inner chatter’s inevitable. Still, you drift toward stillness. You do the best you can.
I felt my inner environment starting to heal.
Things became less stressful. People became less annoying. I started to realize, for the first time in my life, that other people’s bullshit is their own, and has nothing to do with me. I started to thaw out worst case scenario thinking. My hypochondria lessened. I began to look forward to each new day.
And in the mix, as a bonus, as a beautiful surprise, I realized with clarity that I had more than my grandfather accessible through my right ear…
I had these spirit guides, also. Four silver wolves. One stands in front, does the talking. The others: a triangle behind him. They tell me things; all kinds of things. The future. The pure truth. The nature of being. Why things happen. The pattern. What relationships mean.
And they’re not the only ones over there. A lot more is. Not “everything,” mind you. The guides are very clear that they don’t know everything. They’re wise, but not that wise. But they can transmit a lot.
And on a daily basis, that’s what they do.
